Listening to Magomed, I was sure then that everything would be all right... The brothers would be found... We'd find them... Not yet suspecting that thousands and thousands of people would disappear into oblivion in Chechnya. Just like Magomed's younger brother, whose traces he cannot find to this day.

Incidentally, then, during the flight, I heard from Magomed Ugurchiev how he envisioned the origins of the entire Russian-Chechen conflict.

The thing is, he graduated from the Moscow Literary Institute with Yandarbiyev, who later replaced Dzhokhar Dudayev as President of Chechnya. Then they occupied the same room in the Writers' Union of Checheno-Ingushetia for a long time: one was a consultant for Ingush literature, the other for Chechen literature. (In general, I am struck by how many writing people became not chroniclers of tragic events, but people about whom others write: Zviad Gamsakhurdia, my comrade from "Komsomolka" Otakhon Latifi, who became one of the ardent Tajik oppositionists, Movladi Udugov — as he himself once told me — failed the entrance exam to the journalism faculty of Moscow State University, and Shamil Basayev, it turns out, writes songs. Indeed, "how our word will echo.")

And this is what else I heard from him then, on the plane:

"It seemed like everything was done on purpose. Despite all the euphoria of freedom, the situation in the republic was terrible: rampant crime, economic crisis, people without salaries... But as soon as Dudayev's popularity fell, Moscow would come up with something to boost it. Either the Supreme Soviet called for an economic blockade of Chechnya, or Rutskoi demanded the bombing of Grozny. And each time this happened when Dudayev's rating approached zero. And, as a consequence of Moscow's decisions, his popularity immediately surged..."

Later, I was able to convince myself more than once of such a correlation between Moscow's political decisions and events in Chechnya. But honestly, to this day I cannot give myself an answer as to where there was premeditation and where there was a series of absurd coincidences.

But, I suppose, that's always how it is in human history. Let's remember Napoleon's cold, which cost him victory...

Well, then I flew to Mineralnye Vody, approaching, approaching, approaching the alluring and frightening world of war.

What, I remember, surprised me: among my fellow travelers were many people who wanted to get to Grozny via Mineralnye Vody to bring their relatives and friends out of there. I remember a guy from Ukraine, from Kharkov, I think. He was flying for his sister. "And how will you get there?" I asked him. In response, he shrugged: "I can't leave her there."

I understood that it was much easier for me. After Mikhail Egorov's call, I would be met. I would be taken. I would be cared for and protected.

Generally speaking, for all the dangers that occur in our work, these dangers should not be exaggerated, let alone boasted about.

Still, it's easier for a journalist than for an ordinary person without a press card who gets into all sorts of trouble. And that's why, when I'm asked if I'm afraid, if I'm threatened, and if so, how I react, I answer with a prepared phrase: "That question is for a journalism student."

I am actually convinced that our profession is no more dangerous than life itself.

Yes, and the war kept getting closer and closer. Now the landing gear was released... Now toy houses below... Now the runway... Three men in camouflage near the gangway... "Bye, Magomed, I hope your brothers are found..." — "Good luck to you..."

We drove from Mineralnye Vody to Mozdok. The approaching war was only hinted at by the Kalashnikov in the hands of the sergeant sitting in the front seat of the military UAZ.

"So, how is it there?" I asked the officer from the MVD's main organized crime directorate, who had been sent to meet me.

"Nothing good..." he replied and remained practically silent the whole way, answering my questions monosyllabically: "Yes," "No," "I don't know"...

Thus began my first Chechen assignment, the impressions of which I detailed in an article I titled: "For the Motherland? For the Mafia?"

About what was not included in the article.